'Because you're worth it'

We're friends here, so I'm just going to take them time to be very honest and open in that space.

I laugh when I hear beautiful women say that line; 'because you're worth it'. It kind of makes me cringe, and ask myself thousands of questions. The main one always being; what if I don't think I'm worth it?

This is the thing I struggle with every single day. I don't wake up and go to bed thinking it, but there will always be a point in my day when I think 'there is no point doing that Helen, you're not worth'.
I know most of you are probably sitting there horrified seeing me write this, but it's just a fact I've come to live with.

From reading this blog you may have pictured me as:

Someone comfortable in their own skin
Someone confident
Someone happy with themselves
Someone who has themselves sorted
Someone who knows where they are going
Someone happy.

You would be wrong.

Some days I think I'm over feeling like this. Some days I feel so consumed by it. Other days I feel like its all just a big excuse for the mistakes I've made. 

I am trying. Trying to not feel like this. Trying to make a better life, better self, better situation.

I need to stop blaming myself. I've made mistakes, huge ones, but I've also come back from those, and they do not define me. They have not made all the other bad things happen. I am not to blame.

I wish I could believe this right now, but for the moment I think I'm just going to continue on this carousel.

NB: It is one of 'those' days.

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4 comments

Erin Elizabeth said...

So proud of you for writing this, friend. I think all of us gals feel this way. Love your heart, you are precious to me!

xoxo
Erin

sweetnessitself.blogspot.com

Mia Sutton said...

But you really ARE worth it, Helen. Please don't cringe, or get mad at me for saying it. But you truly are. And I know that you may be feeling unhappy or discouraged... but you have to know that you are loved. We all go through periods of feeling this way. And I'm not at all trying to diminish what you're feeling. But I think the reason that we picture you as someone who is happy go lucky and confident is because that Helen IS in there somewhere. And that's why you're feeling badly - because you do know what happiness is. I promise you that you won't always feel this way. And you have people who love you and care about you (even when they're your creepy internet friends who live thousands of miles away). :)

helen_eel said...

I love you so much. Like seriously. It's getting to creeper stalker love stage. I'm coming....... haha x

Mia Sutton said...

hehehe... we'll be creepers together, it's OK. The first step to being a creeper is admitting you have a problem. hehe jk ;)

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