Couch Talk - Leaving the past alone

This is us. Me and V. Having a chat whilst we're thousands of miles apart.

Vanisha had the awesome idea to host a Couch Talk series. A little like a coffee date and a little like vino with friends. 

Then she asked me to co-host, I was honoured and of course said yes!

So it begins, what we hope will be the start of something big, and something you will all join in with. Think hot drink/cold wine, friends, laughter, and life. There maybe a little weirdness in there too, but what the heck, we're friends!

(If you're taken aback by the length of this post, we've put the questions in bold, if you want to contribute)

Vanisha: Hey lovely, I recently read The Alchemy of Desire by Tarun J Tejpal, It was an interesting book, I thought it could have been simpler – but this isn’t a book review…The story was about a man that comes across a trunk full of old journals. When the trunk is unearthed, one man is adamant that it should be left alone: “I am telling you a lot. I am saying leave what is buried well alone. The world needs living men not ghosts” He kept saying he knew nothing except that the past should not be stirred. It’s only a few lines but they are the ones that gripped me the most. And got me thinking. Do you think we should let the past alone? 

Helen: I don't think we should leave the past alone. Our past shapes us and influences who we are. I do think that you shouldn't let the past define who you are now though. There is a very fine line between letting it influence you and letting it define you. It's important to know who you are and where you come from. I've been through some tough times and when I need to find strength I look back. I'm living proof of the "I've gotten through it once I can do it again mentality". The past can be a comfort too. When I'm old nearing the end of my life I WANT to look back, I want to see that the past (my life) was a wonderful experience and I made the most of it. We are only human, and have 1 life. It's made up of our past's, present's and future's, why would you want to forgo one of them?  The book sounds really interesting V, I'm going to have to read it. I could only have this conversation with you! What is your opinion on the subject? What if you found a trunk of old journals, would you open it, read them?

Vanisha: I don't know really. If I found a trunk of old journals, I guess I would read them if they belonged to someone I didn't know personally. If I ever came across, for instance, a bunch of Patrick's journals or my mum's I don't think I would read them. Mostly because I'd obviously be reading without understanding the context in which they were written, leaving so much room for misinterpretation. I mean, sometimes I want to know everything, and other times, maybe not knowing is better. But there's always a flip side isn't there. Lately we were in a situation where something about his past that I didn't know in detail came up, a third party mentioned it, and I was upset that I didn't know (don't worry nothing serious!). That could suck, being caught off guard like that. I think the danger is getting caught up in the past and not focusing on the 'now'. I'm all for looking back on my life, but I personally don't read old journal entries I've written...maybe it scares me? I don't know. If you put it in the context of a relationship, would you like to know everything about your partner's past?

Helen: No way! I think I'd go crazy. Every little detail I read I'd want to know more and more. If he wanted to share something with me then of course I'd listen, but I wouldn't take it upon myself to read them. Enough talk about the past, how do you look to the future? I struggle sometimes with seeing the bigger picture. I find it hard to focus on where I want to be and what I can do to get me there. What are you goals for the next 6 months? I've loved having a proper convo with you V, we have to do it again soon. 

Vanisha: I think the future is so much more exciting! Especially when it holds the possibility of us meeting up somewhere! I've got a ton of writing to get through in the next few months. But you already know about all my other fun goals! One of the great things about having a blog is you have friends that you feel a little accountable to, and often that's a great motivation to attain your goals! 

From Us to You: What about all of you? You've been sitting in on our chat. What are your opinions? Past, present or future, which do you focus on most? Do you let everything every aspect of your life influence where you are now? How do you plan for the future? If you found a box of your partners journals, would you read them? That's a lot of questions, but we know you can handle it!

We're thinking about hosting a monthly couch talk series, let us know if there's something you think would be fun to talk about! 

Do you think this would work as a link up? We'd love to know!

If have any ideas just leave a comment, we'd love to hear from you.

Much love, 
Helen & Vanisha


Missy Adams said...

This was actually an interesting read and a good idea. For me i let my past drive me to become better, i live for my future. But it can be hard sometimes not to let people from my past drag me down

Catherine said...

I love this idea (especially the photos at the beginning, you both look so cosy), maybe it could work as a once in a while pair up thing (like with guest posts) with set topics, I'd be up for joining in :)

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